2. There is a fine line between "gentleman" and chauvinist. Walk it carefully, fellas.
3. Do not ever text me at 2 in the morning. I'm about to blow up a lot of people's spots on the internet. This is your warning.
4. I just walked over a mile in basically pajamas because that is how important real Jewish bagels are.
5. I should hang out in Brookline more.
7. If you go hiking with me, you'll eventually get to the right trail, you just might have to cross a highway first.
9. OkCupid might not work out for you dating-wise, but you could get a cat-sitting job out of it.
10. Beyonce's VMA performance was a spiritual experience for me. I hope it means we can stop talking about her marriage and resume talking about how she is a MONARCH.