Thursday, May 15, 2014

My First

Today, I'm jumping on a blogger bandwagon and sharing one of my first social media experiences. I like this idea because it means I don't have to come up with anything new. Recycling my writing (as well as my jokes) is one of my favorite narcissistic pastimes.  Go green, you guys!

My first tweet.

This post is from a time when my blog was called "La Petite Critique" and no one cared about it. I was apparently exploring a french identity back then. I was also terrified of blogging because I thought it would some how get me fired. Now that I am old and complacent, IDGAF, obviously.

Anyway, here it is, my very first post*: 

While You Were Driving

This morning, my bus suddenly came to a screeching halt causing me to completely fall into the guy standing next to me and touch him in some inappropriate areas. It was kind of like one of those movies where the girl falls into the guy on a bus and blushes and then they start dating and a few weeks down the line one of them finds out that the other has a dark secret so then they get into a fight and then one of them decides to escape from the whole situation and runs off to the airport and then the other one goes to that person's friend and says "Where's that person?" and he/she says "Oh, you didn't hear? That person's moving to [some place located across the country and/or world]. His/her flight leaves in an hour." So then this person rushes to the airport, probably causing a lot of mayhem in the streets of a trendy city, gets there in the nick of time, somehow magically bypasses security (while some innocent mother of three is being frisked because she just happened to be the fourth person in line), reaches the other person just as he/she is about to step onto the plane. Then, they confess their love for each other and decide they can get over the dark secret and they live happily ever after (all with no concern about the fact that one of them spent hundreds of dollars on a plane ticket that will never be refunded). Yeah, it was kind of like that except slightly different: I fell into a small foreign man who said "is okay," blushed, and then made a conscious effort to avoid eye contact for the rest of the ride.

Helene in Between

*...on Blogger.  Those of you who knew me in college know about my original, incredibly inappropriate blog.


  1. haha that is awesome. i like your first tweet- A LOT. and that bus story sounds like something that would happen to me.


    By the way, when you're famous can I totally ride your coattails and tell everyone I knew you in 9th grade? :)

    1. Shhhh. If anyone finds that blog I am DOOMED.

      And, yes. And thank you for thinking I'll ever be famous. :)

  3. I have a feeling the next time you fall into a man's---area--- on a bus, it will be your airport happily ever after! :)

  4. and this just made me laugh like really loud!!!!

  5. soooo now i wanted to know about your inappropriate college blog!!!! Also all I can think about in the response 'is okay' is that stupid Juan Pablo from the Bachelor!

  6. OH I need to know about your Livejournal!!!!! Can you password protect it and give us the password?

    Words on the internet live for-ever!!

  7. That is a fantastic post/story! I remember a guy bumping into me on the bus once, but it wasn't romantic or embarrassing. It was creepy. I'm pretty sure he did it on purpose...


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