Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Weight Problems

The other day, my friend Cory told me that he is trying to gain weight. I just want you to stop and imagine my reaction to that, okay? It was a combination of horror, resentment, rage, envy, and a little bit of friendliness because I do really like Cory.

What it must be like to be a boy, though. Trying to gain weight. I told him if he needs any advice on how to do that to come to me since I'm pretty much a sage in that field. I mean, I can gain three pounds in one weekend. Fact. And, like, that's not even a challenge, so.

But I guess Cory wants to gain lean muscle mass or something like that, and I mostly specialize in cellulite, so perhaps I'm not the right person to consult.


  1. id also like to gain muscle mass, but also id like to lose weight everywhere so i can be so thin that when i turn to the side you woner where i went, so

  2. @chrees: http://www.someecards.com/usercards/viewcard/MjAxMS0yYjU1Yzg3ZTU4NjY3MmIw

  3. Tom keeps losing weight and I keep gaining it. It's like in the middle of the night it re distributes.

  4. HAHAHA. This made me laugh so hard. & I agree, I just think about cheeseburgers and gain 3 lbs. Rough life.


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