Monday, February 25, 2013


Everyone is all up in arms about this horse meat thing, and I don't even get it. Seriously, what's the difference between eating a horse and eating a cow?  Have you guys seen what we do to cows before we slaughter them and send them to McDonald's?

World Class Treatment

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a vegetarian. I love cheese burgers, preferably when they're still bleeding a little bit. I'm just saying, don't cry about the horse you might have ate after spending $1 on a sandwich. It doesn't make sense. Like, people are actually surprised that Ikea is using questionable meat? Maybe don't get fucking meatballs at a furniture store.

Let's pretend the horse thing isn't an issue for a second. Do you think fast-food chains and discount stores are really using Grade A beef? What is Grade A beef anyway?

I have so many questions and none of them are about horses.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Public Service Announcement

Now, I was sitting in my office so I can only sort of imagine this scene and apply it to the words I heard, but this happened today:

Coworker #1: [comes into office, (presumably) takes a piece of candy]
Coworker #2: "Excuse me, should you be eating that? Aren't you on Weight Watchers?"

Like, what the fuck? Coworker #1 then starts defending herself and her "point" choice and all I could think is that this world is so fucked up and why can't anyone just eat a M-F piece of candy in peace. Just eat it in quiet, serene, judgement-free, fucking peace.


I wanted to cry for her.

I've dealt with a warped body image my whole life. Let's be real, who hasn't? But it's really hard to feel like an empowered woman when you're still constantly thinking about what you should look like. That's something I'm trying to work on, but I need your help.

I used to eat 60 calorie lunches because I wanted to weigh 10 pounds less and the only way to do that was to effectively starve myself. But why did I ever care about weighing 10 pounds less? Why?! Perhaps because every message I get from the world -- from TV and the internet and my coworkers -- is that I should weigh 10 lbs less. I should probably weigh 20 lbs less. I SHOULD BE INVISIBLE.

Stop the madness, everyone. Please.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Girl problems.

The other day, my boss stopped me in the hallway and said, "Katie, you're wasting away into nothing!" and I felt flattered, which is pretty fucked up since that's the kind of thing you'd say to someone who has a terminal illness. Once, my friend told me I looked "gaunt," and I took it as a compliment. A compliment! There's nothing okay about that. And what's sadder is that I know most of my female friends would have had the same reaction. To quote Fiona Apple, this world is bullshit.

Imagine what we women could be doing with our time if we weren't so preoccupied with the shape of our bodies. We'd all be burning our bras, or something. According to a recent study, "women who were primed to evaluate themselves based on their appearance and sexual desirability had a decreased motivation to challenge gender-based inequalities and injustices." Instead, we're destroying our joints on an elliptical every day in order to look attractive enough for someone to put a ring on it.  

Speaking of rings, I'll never forget this fun fact I learned while discussing King Solomon's Mines in college:
The idea of a diamond engagement ring is roughly a century old. Guess who invented the concept? Not surprisingly, it's the same people who mined the diamonds -- the De Beers diamond syndicate. []
So romantic.

On that note, happy Valentine's Day, everyone!

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Valentine's Day

In college, this guy, whom I liked and took to cocktail* and immediately ditched me for one of my friends, took me to the beach one Valentine's Day. We strolled along the shore and listened to the waves and threw shells into the sea, and it was magical and poetic, and then he still didn't want to date me, so that was that.

Another Valentine's Day, I went on a first date with a big black sailor who later called me and said, "I'm bisexual," to which I responded, "Excuse me?" To which, he responded, "Just kidding!" And I was like, "That's not a real joke, so."

I also once got two presents from two different guys and cried because I didn't want to date either of them and I was scared of hurting their feelings. I'm probably the only girl in America who has cried about getting multiple gifts on Valentine's Day. Asshole, I know.

Despite all this, I actually really like Valentine's Day, mostly because I appreciate any time where it is not only socially acceptable, but also encouraged to binge eat candy and desserts.

It's also yet another reason to put Boo's face on a card and send it to everyone I've ever met and also some people I only know from the internet. So look forward to that.

*That's sorority for a "formal" party, or by anyone else's standards, an absolute shit show.