Note: I once saw a billboard that said: "Do you have lupus?' and reacted by shouting "DO I?!" in public and then immediately googling the symptoms.
I do not have lupus.
I also do not have melanoma.
As it turns out, the moles on my stomach are not even moles, and I actually have a skin fungus. A fungus! Gross, right? But better than the big C, that's for sure.
My doctor sent me away with some topical cream and also some sage advice:
"Do not ever look anything up on Google."