Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Math Problems

I've been noticing a lot of people struggling with math on Facebook. These are professional adults who I'd like to assume have a fairly good grasp on algebra, but they're getting it all wrong. Publicly.  For example:
  • "Glass of wine + sushi + The Notebook = best night ever"
  • "Sandy feet + ocean = bliss"
  • "Day off + long run + dog + sun = toned and tan pet owner" 

Some equations are even more complicated, such as:
  • "Cold morning + sweatshirt + coffee + pumpkin muffin + snuggles = one happy girl"


Now, I'm no mathematician, but I think what these people are trying to say, in a very convoluted, not-so-cryptic ways is:
  • "Simple things bring me joy!"
  • "I love sitting on my couch and eating!"
  • "I work out!"
  • "I went on vacation!!!!!!" 
  • "Even though I don't know how to add or subtract, my life is awesome!" 

Here's the thing, I'm really happy that you're happy and I'm sure your life is way better than mine, but I'm also incredibly bored. These algebra problems are becoming way too prevalent on my newsfeed. I'd be more interested in your mundane life if you had a new way to talk about it. Maybe try a foreign language. Do you know calculus? How about a haiku!

Sitting on a couch
Watch TV in pajamas
Wine, cat, beautiful

I urge you to consider a different format. And, most importantly, please always remember that coffee + a muffin does not equal anything except coffee + a muffin. Somewhere, your high school math teachers are crying for you.


I would love to hear your comments unless you're an international spammer. Sorry.