Friday, November 4, 2011

"Maybe you'll start feeling better if you stop reading WebMD"

I wish that I could get a cold without automatically thinking I have AIDS or cancer or Lupus. I once saw a billboard that said, "Could you have Lupus?" and immediately thought to myself, Could I?! And then proceeded to WebMD Lupus symptoms in order to confirm or deny my diagnosis. 

This is not normal. However, browsing makes me feel like I'm not alone:

Currently, I'm ill with what is most likely a cold or flu virus, but I can't stop thinking that I'm nearing death. I'm popping Vitamin C like a drug addict even though that definitely won't cure the cancer I inevitably have. 

Worst of all, I'm worried this illness is going to ruin my weekend. I live for the weekend. Without the weekend, I would sink into a deep, dark depression and consequently feel suicidal (side effect of depression, confirmed via WebMD). 

Are you guys scared of me yet?


  1. mostly it is scary how accurate this is. i love you so much.

  2. Im also scared of Lupus and I also think there is a tumor in my brain the size of a softball from all the equal I use in my coffee. However equal has no calories, so the trade off is worth it. Vain.

  3. Oh I totes have cancer from Splenda, but nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. Or something like that.


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