Sunday, November 20, 2011

Is Winter Coming?

Why do people act like the weather is personally offending them? The other day, I was getting ready to leave work when I overheard someone say, "Why does it always start to rain right when I'm about to go outside?" First of all, it doesn't; that's like scientifically impossible. Second of all, we're all going outside, bitch. It's 5 o'clock and I'm getting the fuck out of here.  

For some reason, people expect sympathy for having to deal with the same weather that affects everyone else around them. It is precisely this attitude about weather which makes me dread the winter, not the weather itself. I have trained myself to tune out upon hearing someone even mention the word "snow," or "shovel." Because I truly do not give a shit about snow or its impact on your life. In fact, I happen to like the winter -- it's festive; it's fun; and I can justify wearing leg warmers. 

I personally think it's bullshit that it's been in the 60s in November. I live in New England for a reason. I want to be able to wear my fall clothes without fucking sweating my ovaries out* on the way to work. You may not know this about me, but I hate being hot. Hate. When I'm hot, you're susceptible to being verbally and possibly physically assaulted (this also happens when I'm hungry; more to come about that later).  Once, in college, my friends and I were on the way to the mall when I abruptly jumped out of the car and ran to my house without an explanation (see: praxi). One friend asked, "What's wrong with Katie?" To which another responded, "She's hot."

That is why this weather fucking sucks. I was on the bus the other morning developing a sweat-stache when someone tapped me on my shoulder. I whipped around with a scowl on my face to see who the hell was touching me only to discover that it was my boss. She asked me what was wrong. I told her I was hot and couldn't "stand anything right now," so she told me she wouldn't mind if I  put my headphones in and didn't talk to her. I said "OK," and proceeded to listen to Radiohead and silently hate everyone.

Okay, so perhaps I am a little hypocritical for complaining about other people complaining about the weather, but at least I give people the courtesy of keeping (most of) my anger about the weather to myself. I run away; I put my headphones in; I quietly brood. I don't expect sympathy, rather I prefer to be left the fuck alone. Isn't that the New England way? 

*This is an expression I developed recently when I finally came to the conclusion that saying "sweating my balls off" was unladylike.

1 comment:

  1. If it's too hot for you, just threaten to move to Canada like everyone else...isn't it winter there like 10 months out of the year? haha


I would love to hear your comments unless you're an international spammer. Sorry.